If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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