Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
