i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
