facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
