I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my shit smells like andre
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
