she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
