i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize