I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
