You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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