You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
