is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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