fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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