just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
