So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
