He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
