this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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