I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I smell like Dick and happiness
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