so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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