spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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