if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
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