Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
