my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
