So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
