My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
