..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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