I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
