bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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