it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
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Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
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Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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