3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
