sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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