I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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