8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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