Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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