Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?