I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
