i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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