Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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