I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
