so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
