For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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