so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
