I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
