if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was