how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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