The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
