So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
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You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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