I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My butt remains clenched, sir.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
