I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
