Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
