What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
