you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
