Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize