My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My boob is missing a layer of skin
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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