Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
