Your face is a jimmy john
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
