Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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