I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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