He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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