hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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