Cold hands, warm shart.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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