Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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