i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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