SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
