Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
