well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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