so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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