i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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