He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
