if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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