Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dear god my vagina.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
