I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
